The Sucker Tax
Last night I was suckered in.
Because I work in DC, I was asked very kindly to please buy a bunch of Powerball tickets, as the jackpot is now up to..Uhm…300 million? Normally, I abhor the thought of even spending a dollar on a stupid lottery ticket, but I succumbed to group mentality. It seems all of our friends are going in on both Powerball and Maryland’s “Mega Millions”. At five bucks per person, I figured I’d sacrifice a few cups of coffee for a momentary thrill as I went through the numbers with friends on Saturday evening over beers. At least we will have something to console us once we realize we spent 10 bucks on lottery tickets and that was worth two beers. (!!!!)
Like I stated previously, I never play the lottery but if I do, It always leads to the inevitable dreams of “What would I do If I won the lottery?”
Really. What Would I do?
Well, for starters, I’d pay off my house. I’d invest the rest, open up that comic book shop (which no doubt would operate at a loss for a few years) and quit my job. No lavish houses, no expensive cars, nothing too opulent. There are far too many lottery winner horror stories about people who simply took the cash prize and blew the entire wad on entertainment, friends, relatives and silly impulse buys. I’m not even sure if I would tell my immediate relatives….
Anyhow, I’ve always thought the lottery was a poor mans tax or as my coworker lovingly called it: The sucker tax. People have played the lottery every week all their lives and never won. I do NOT expect to win and it makes me sick that I spent ten bucks on a worthless piece of paper. However, it makes fo good conversation among friends as we talk about all the creative ways we could quit jobs we hated. I once had a job I hated so much that I remember saying to a coworker: “If I won the lottery I think I’d send a company wide e mail from my Blackberry telling them how much I think they are giant douche bags. I’d do it all from a beach in Tahiti” Luckily, I still like my job.
I suppose that playing with friends can be a once in a while indulgence that shouldn’t be peetered upon. It’s just fun.
And If I do win, well…Hmmm..I might tell my fans.
all two of you.
August 24th, 2007 at 2:40 pm
I always heard the lottery referred to as “the tax on people who suck at math”. Too true. But I might buy a ticket every few months, just to fantasize! Nothing too lavish for me, either…my only really massive splurge would be a trip around the world. I’d love to immerse myself and my kid in other cultures/languages/traditions…
August 24th, 2007 at 6:00 pm
I buy the scratch-off lottery tickets now and then. I never expect to win them. I usually do though. I usually win back my initial investment or double it. The ones with the numbers? Neh. Though usually if there’s an office pool I’ll play.
If I won I think I’d pay off my car and the mortgage on the house.. probably invest the rest in something or other and just retire. Probably wouldn’t live much differently then I do now apart from the whole not having a job thing.
Oh, and I’d finish getting my pilot’s license. woot!
August 25th, 2007 at 8:38 am
DD–You do have a point, although I wouldn’t go around the world al at once. What I would do is set aside the $$$ for two vacations to different places around the world every year. And HELLO NO I wouldn’t be a tourist doing a tour. Fuck that—
actually–Take a look at the vacations sponsored by National Geographic. They’re TOTALLY the way to go!!!!!
Kurt–Even if you don’t win the lottery—Finish getting your pilots license anyway!!!!
August 25th, 2007 at 8:54 am
Hey we won four whole dollars in the mega-millions, that breaks down to fitty cents each (before tax)