Holy Buck, Fatman!

A major thing happened yesterday. REALLY MAJOR.

It wasn’t about VT or American Idol. It certainly wasn’t about Anna Nicole Smith, Madonna or Angliena Jolie.
It was the first step to overturning Roe v. Wade.

There has been a lot of buzz about the recent Supreme Court ruling upholding the ban on what the right calls “Partial Birth Abortions” Of Course, that is not an actual medical term. The proper term for the procedure is “Intact Dilatation and Extraction” and contrary to the  Christian Nationalist rhetoric, the procedure is not performed unless there is a real medical necessity.

The Bush Administration has a plan. Bush and his Christian Base want desperately to outlaw abortion but it will be impossible to simply legislate it out of existence.  I firmly believe there is  a plan to effectively overturn Roe v Wade that is  well thought out by numerous think tanks and political operatives. It will not happen overnight. It will happen slowly while the average American is not looking.

The ultra religious right want to send a message to American women: KNOW YOUR PLACE. Submit to your husband and take care of your children because that is what the bible says. Men are the breadwinners and women are the caregivers. Which means they must take care of the man the way he is supposed to. If a women has the audacity to make a decision about her body without the counsel of her husband and God, then she is a sinner. The religious right will make sure that everyone will come to the flock–even if they have to legislate laws to get people to see the Truth.

It’s about control of the non-believers. It doesn’t matter what you actually think when you are confronted with an unwanted pregnancy or faced with a serious medical issue that could effect your life. The life of the unborn child is more precious. The life of the unborn child is what matters most.

Which brings me to my next grievance. Why is it that adoption for an american couple so difficult and expensive? Why is it that judges have ruled in favor of greedy birth parents and ordered adopted children to return to a mother who is barely able to take care of herself, let alone the child.

I have friend who wants to start having children with his wife. When they went to the Dr. they were told that it would be difficult because she had a condition. I asked him if he was going to consider adoption. He said they wouldn’t be eligible because they simply didn’t have enough money.  They would be deemed unable to economically care for a child because of a bout of debt due to hospitalization without healthcare. In short–they were a middle class couple denied the right to adoption because of red tape and money.

So, why isn’t the religious right working to make adoption a viable option for more people? Why isn’t there any discussion on reforming adoption laws to make it an attractive option to a women in need of assistance?

Because it is about control. Control of unbelievers for whom they believe they have dominion over.

Your continued use of “The Video Games are to blame” has already been DEBUNKED. You Fucking Idiots.

Burn in hell for still calling yourselves “Journalists”,
The Holy Fatman

The Senate passed a bill to lift restrictions on Stem Cell Research. But, of course, King George teh II has already vowed to veto it. Of course. why wouldn’t he? He’s all about a “culture of life” Which, In koo koo Bananas speak means: “Oh, If you have cancer, that probably means you weren’t a true christian and God can’t save you now, so good riddance and please, make sure your repent. Have a blessed day.”
This issue hits close to home. Seven months ago I watched my father lose his battle with Multiple Myeloma, a cancer that could possibly be put into remission with further advances in Stem Cell research. In 2001, we watched Bush’s television announcement on Stem Cell research where he decided to only authorize funding for exsisting lines of stems cells already created. Little did we know that we only had like…well…uh….10 or so.

I am not sure that the little embryos that sit frozen, awaiting to be discarded could have achieved what my father did in his 56 short years on the planet. You see, My dad was that guy–That ONE guy that made sure each updated RADAR system around the United States was built to strict government specifications. He also made sure that they were working properly. He was a real hard ass about it and took the safety of airline passengers very seriously. He was so good at his job, he recieved a letter of commendation for saving the Government 3 billion in Contractor waste. He was serious.

Those little embryos had a job to do. They could have contributed to my father’s treatment, but since King George teh II was being his self rightous pseudo religious self, he prevented anyone from making some real headway in Stem Cell research. So, My dad died.

He died within the prime of his life and could have spent many more years making many  positive upgrades to airline safety; especially in the wake of 9/11.

Think about someone so close to you who could have been potentially saved by some research with some cells from an embryo about to be destroyed. Imagine the impact that person living could potentially have on you. Think about this: Every time you ride in an Airplane, you are landing safely because my father made sure you did. In some way–he’s touched a lot of people.  So saving one life can potentially save others.

Think about it.

Yes, the Cherry Blossom festival is fully underway and you have already started to arrive in droves. While I welcome you to this peice of shit city I work in (there is a better one about 45 miles north of here), I would like to extend a word of advice while traveling among the commuters.

1. Please do NOT stand on the left hand side of the escalator, you will be yelled at.

2. If your kid is tired from an entire day of looking at pretty trees, hiking around museums and seeing memorials, please do NOT let him or her sit next to me during my lunch hour. I will shoot you the death stare.

3. please do NOT stop short to look at your map while I am behind you.

4. The metro machine is really easy to use, just read the directions. If you’re not fast enough, though, it might eat your child.
5. Those countdown things at crosswalks? They tell you how much time you have to cross. Hurry up, DC drivers aren’t the patient type.
6. Your mega strollers  do not guarantee you the right of way. I will walk in front of you if you are going too slow, too.

7. I hate your kids. Oh, yeah–did I say that already?
8. Despite having worked here for nearly 6 years, No, I can’t tell you how to get to the tidal basin. I seriously doubt that the person behind me will be able to tell you either. No one is really “From DC”

9. No. Just no. Sorry…but no.

10. The “Mall” in DC is a long strip of park like land. No, there is no “Old Navy” there.

Please follow these 10 tips while vacationing in our nations capital and you’ll be sure to have a pleasant experience.

Yes, I still hate your kids.

Since the scandal of the US Attorney firings has come to light, the actual morality of the administration has been questioned by some of us more “blue” individuals. The wingnuts have constantly tried to pimp the meme “Clinton was immoral, blah blah blah”

Okay, what did Clinton do? He asked for all 93 resignations at the beginning of his term as a new democratic President after 12 years of Republican rule. Quite normal–as a change of gaurd thing.  He also got a Blow job from an intern. Oooookayy. He Got a friggen BLOW JOB. What was his problem? He lied. Quite normal if you are pushed into a corner on questions of infidelity in your marriage. Why was the question of weather or not he “had sexual relations with that women” ever brought up, anyway? Sure, we could debate the morality of infidelity–but that wasn’t the issue, the republican lynch mob said. It was that he had lied.
Shouldn’t that have been a private matter between Bill and his wife, Hillary? After all, that Blow Job did not result in the deaths of 3,242 American soliders, did it?

The decisions of President KooKoo Bananas aren’t moral at all. If you really look at the decision to enter into a preemptive war based on half truths and outright lies. They had reason to believe that Iraq was harboring Al-Queda. They knew they had Weapons of Mass destruction and they were pointed STRAIGHT AT US. However, when the troops actually arrived to Iraq, they found that Saddam actually had nothing. That’s right. Nothing. So, the Bush Administration does a quick step–starts shrugging like a guilty teenager with an ounce of pot in his backpack and says, “Uhmm..I guess it was bad intelligence?”

And then we have the  US Attorney firing scandal. Firing people not because they were bad employees; firing them because they weren’t “Loyal Bushies”. Hmmm. Is that a moral act of goodness? I personally do not believe so. A person who forces his or her beliefes upon others in the name of loyalty is not a moral person. The wingnuts who constantly justify the actions of the Prez don’t quite seem to get this. They can constantly justify the actions of the president as if he was our moral savior.

Morality does not always have to do with sex, but we are constantly reminded that we are “godless” or “Immoral” by our red counterparts. It suddenly becomes immoral to disagree with the currenty administration. It is now immoral for people to speak out about the war. It is now immoral to investigate our dear leader.

The wingnut right is changing the discourse on morality. They use huge media conglomerates to drive GOP talking points home. They repeat the same thing over and over. They turn these phrases into memes that get into your head and suddenly, you find yourself accepting the meme as truth.

It is up to us to stop the memes from entering the world.

The MSM has lent this a lot of coverage, but if one doesn’t understand what actually transpired, it doesn’t make much sense. With that, I’m going to attempt to explain why this is bad. Bad Bad Bad.

First and foremost, it’s important to understand that all 93 US Attorneys are appointed by the president. Usually, at the begining of a new Presidental party transition, it is CUSTOMARY to ask for all of them to hand in their resigination as part of the transition. Reagan did it in 1980. Clinton did it in 1993. George W. Bush did it in 2001. 

After the appointment, the US attorneys are then confirmed bythe Senate. It’s simple. Why is the firing of 8 US Attorneys so different from the mundane transitions that usually happen at the start of a presidential term? The answer can be found behind the whole reasoning for the firings and how a little known provision allowing the president to appoint a US Attorney WITHOUT Senate confirmation in the US Patriot act. Basically, the White House wanted to replace these 8 US Attorneys who displayed loyalty to both the President and the Attorney General.  They wanted what they called in several E mails, “Loyal Bushies” I suppose, depending on what side of the fence you live on, it depends on what the definition of “loyal Bushie” is.

Part II to follow.

I’ve go to go home.

It has been days since my last post. In all fairness, I’ve been backed up with work. Blah blah blah….you know what I mean. Hey Super Snark…where can I get that scrolling banner you have for your blog days off?
Anyway, back to your regularly scheduled blog posting.

In three weeks, short round will be getting a mouth full of metal. Yes, Folks, I’m going into about…Hmmm….$4800 worth of debt just to ensure that my little girl will have a beautiful smile when she enters the den of hell that we all know as High school.

I remember when I turned about 14, I would look in the mirror and see this….this Mutant staring back at me. This mutant had frizzy, out of control hair, a face FULL of zits and a lanky undeveloped body until about…well..age 25. I don’t know what distorted my view of myself, but I think it had something to do with puberty. I know at 25, I looked back into the mirror and saw an attractive women looking back at me. How DID that happen? Where in the world did the mutant go? and why did I believe I saw a mutant looking back at me?

These days, young girls are bombarded with messages about how they should look more then ever. I thought that beauty was blonde, straight and skinny was the only way to be attractive to a man. I had no idea that beautiful women come in all shapes and sizes. Cliche, yes, but it’s true.

Our little girls have a lot to sort out. When they are very small, the message is “You’re a princess! Someday a prince will save and marry you!” when marriage and relationships are hard work. Some believe that this message we send to our little girls can imprint upon them and cause them to believe that love/relationships are magical and happily ever after is without the work needed. While I did think that the whole princess mentality isn’t exactly, well…healthy, it isn’t entirely the fault of the cartoons.
When they reach school age, they are introduced to Bratz dolls, MyScene and other barbie incarnations that make parents want to run screaming in utter horror. Will taking these things away from them make a difference? Probably not. I think little girls take more cues from their own Moms then dolls, cartoon princesses and magazines that proclaim that beauty can be achevied if you spend enough money.

Moms should be the ones fighting the fight against mega advertisters that claim the key to happiness is thin, blonde and blue eyed and the fight needs to begin with our own perception of beauty. I admit that I will occasionally say, “I think I’m fat” but in reality I know I’m not. I know that my diet isn’t optimal but it’s better then most people who eat steady amounts of processed foods with High fructose Cornsyrup as the main ingredient. I also know that I can do something about my “fat feeling” without resorting to such tactics as starving myself or throwing up after each meal. My own perception of myself has changed dramatically since my teen years—There was never a mutant. There was only a bad perception of myself.

There are things that my daughter doesn’t like about herself that are real problems. She has a skin condition(possibly ezemea or Psoriorsis) that leaves nasty red dry blotches on her skin. She has every right to feel uncomfortable about this and I have sought medical treatment for it. She has issues with her teeth, too. They are crowded and need orthodontic attention. My wallet is screaming from my raping of it while paying for such an endevor, but again—medically necessary. They will provide her some comfort when she looks in the mirror in the future as well as benefit her medically. The rest of her is beautiful. She will probably wake up to see the same mutant staring back at herself one day, but I can do my best to minimize that feeling within her. I certainly wouldn’t tell her that she was the reason I feel so fat. It’s my job as her mother to positively reinforce what I believe to be beautiful. being blonde, thin and blue eyed doesn’t automatically get you into the beautiful catagory, either.
While surfing the usually stupid human sites that I read on occasion, I came across what appears to be a snarky attempt at irony but only comes across as a sad representation of a women who still sees a mutant when she looks in the mirror. What bothers me the most about such a post is the fact that this person gets wide exposure and yet self depreciates—blaming her own child for the degradation of her body after pregnancy. And her minions? well..they follow suit. How can someone say this to their daughter even if it is ment as a joke and not feel like they are dooming their daughter to a life of measuring up to every celebrity they see flashed upon the screen? Sadly, this will only further the desire for bratz dolls, celebrity endorsed beauty products and early sexualization of young girls. It is the first step to sending the “If Mom can’t see herself as beautiful, then I suppose….well…..then celebrity X does! and since Celebrity X wears Abercrombie & Fitch, then It will make me beautiful and then..Boys will like me…and then….”

See the downward sprial. How does discourse like this get such exposure? Instead of telling your kid it is her fault that you feel so ugly and fat, how about putting a wrench in the cycle and leading your children to more positive discussion? I despise most mommyblogs, but this one is one big contradiction and worthy of the question: how does the writer of such content get invitations to chair panels at conferences like South By Southwest? Even worse, a keynote is delievered by the queen bee of mothering mediocrity herself back in 2006. I suppose these blogs are like reality television–There is better content out there, but most people can’t be bothered with actually reading it in fear they might learn something.
I do see myself as beautiful and I let my daughter know this. Beauty, for me, is not all about being thin or wearing the latest in fashion. It’s being successful despite what I have faced. It’s being smart and asking the right questions. It’s being outspoken. It’s knowing that I am a damn good Mom. It’s also knowing that my husband finds this all sexy, too. Most of all, it’s knowing that I’m the number one person my daughter takes her cues from. If I don’t change my self perception and realize the definition of beauty is arbitrary, she will become another mindless victim of today’s pop culture world. I really don’t want that to happen.

There has been a lot of opposition to requiring the HPV Vaccine to young girls. Most of the opposition has been from social conservatives concerned that…OMG…Teenagers might have…*GASP* SEX!!!!

You know what? I don’t think it should be mandatory. In fact, I think it should be left up to the parents to make such a decision.

And that is how we will weed out all the idiot neo cons concerned with teen sex rather then the health and safety of their children.

You see, My daughter WILL be getting that vaccine in June. I don’t think that she is going to go right out and start having sex, either. However, when that day comes, I’ll be able to sleep better knowing that she has just one more layer of protection from a deadly, painful cancer.

If the Neo con idiot believes that giving her daughter the shot will encourage her to have sex then she obviously doesn’t take the time to understand her child. Because the social conservative parents believe that keeping teens in the dark about what humans naturally engage in, they should be prepared to face all the repercussions of those decisions. If their teens are ill informed and catch deadly STDS….well…not my  problem. Should have made a better decision to inform your  children about sex, protection, healthy decisions and safe practices.

Does that sound a little mean? Most would argue that the child is the one that suffers the most when they make poor choices. What do you think would happen to the child of a ultra conservative who engaged in sexual intercourse before marriage? Could that teenager tell her parents that she contracted an STD? Probably not. She probably couldn’t even bring herself to tell her parents that she has symptoms “down there” our of fear.  However, I’ve realized that there isn’t anything people can do or say to change the minds of some ultra neocon. At least, not right now. I, however, do have a responsibility as a parent and I choose to to inform. MAYBE…she might be smart enough to tell a friend what I tell her and hopefully, it will counter the bad decisions of some idiot parent.

and THAT is survival of the fittest.

Dear Stephanie C. Rawlings-Blake, President of the Baltimore City Counsel.
You’re a public figure and now that you have gone on record that you are the most self absorbed mindless idiot, it’s time for you to get mocked. I might even e mail this to you since you obviously have no clue about the people you are paid to represent. Since you have demonstrated a clear inability to do your job as a public figure, I am offering you a rewrite of your sickening article. You might want to think twice about publishing things you have to have now and focus on what our city has to have now. Save that shit for your personal journal.

1.  A Super Police department: “The city should have a police department that is capable of fighting the rampant crime taking over the city. It would make me feel I have done my job and made the place safer for the citizens of Baltimore.”

2.  Public Schools that can really make a difference. “improved Education is one of the things that we can offer the citizens of Baltimore as a real promise that we care about the next generation and are willing to make the sacrifices needed to change the priorities of todays youth.”

3. A plan to bring more jobs to the city. “No one should go hungry. We need to work hard to make sure that businesses that come to the city will bring jobs to all citizens”

4. A more intimate relationship with the citizens. “Baltimore needs representation that listens and acts. We need to bridge the gap we have created and make a real effort to reach out to everyone.”

5. A teamwork atmosphere that works together to attack all of the priorities the citizens of the City demand we work on. “Perhaps the most important thing is to say these things and mean it. We need to work together to make sure we are all on the same page and that we can deliver on the promises that we made when running for office. The time is now to make the real changes.

There you go, sweety. There is a little help on that sad article. I certainly hope that you don’t make the same mistake again. Next time, It might cost you your job if it hasn’t already.

Like I said before, people celebrate mediocrity. This is a fine example of this. The next time we hear from her, I suspect that we’ll be hearing her picks for the next American Idol.

Congresscritters and Senators are boo hooing over the extended work week again. God Forbid the should be made to work like regular Jane and Joe schmo, right? What we should do is lower their pay to what the average American worker makes, raise their health insurance premiums to what we’re faced with and make them commute up to two hours to get to work. Like the rest of us. In short, make them eat some humble pie. I’d love to see them try and make their tee times while the country club they belong to revokes their membership for non payment. Better yet, I’d like their families to be forced to shop at the local super wal-mart because they have to get enough food to last them for the next two weeks.
They raise the argument that it is vital they remain visible within their districts. I can see that to a certain extent, HOWEVER–it is possible to remain visible while still working in DC. How, Holy Fatman? How?! Well…you know, that Intarweb thingy can work. Maybe a blog, perhaps? A Webcast? Perhaps a nice radio address on the state of things in DC? Taking constituent e mails and NOT sending a canned response?  I think when the people of the district elects a person to Congress, it is understood that a majority of the time spent is in…well.. Washington DC.

Tell me faithful readers, if you could subject your congresscritter to something you’ve experienced, what would it be? I’d take away their health coverage for 30 days and force them to seek health care at an emergency room. Make ‘em wait 8 hours to be seen by a doctor. I would start foreclosure proceedings on their McMansion and ask them to tell me how they felt when they simply didn’t have enough money to pay for their bills. I’d give them a part time job at Wal-Mart and then ask them to talk to me about wage problems. I’d send their asses to Iraq, put a gun in their hands and say, “Find the enemy and kill.” When they couldn’t figure out who was the enemy, i’d shrug and say, “I dunno”

I certainly wouldn’t send them with any body armor and I’d keep reauthorizing their tour. I’d make sure they saw the mercenaries who were paid 100x more then soldiers are.

Congresscritters and their Senatorial counterparts are far too detached to understand the complex amount of problems facing the American people.  Whining about having to put in a five day work week is yet another fine example of how detached they really are. We schlep into work every day. Some of us are threatened if we even ask for a day off or call in sick. Soldiers deployed for long periods of time have come back only to find that their jobs were given away, despite the fact that corporations aren’t really supposed to do that. Some of us walk into work on a Friday only to be handed a pink slip. Yet unemployment is supposed to be down and the stock market is going great.

Tell me, what would you make them do?